Since the last post regarding drawings done for Art of the Cards, I've whipped up another two drawings. Very exciting.
Monday, March 25, 2013
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Thrilling Trinidad Trip Twenty-Thirteen
Pictures HERE. All in one album this time to save me trouble.
Not this again.
Yes, this again.
I’ll go ahead and say I’m sorry for the imminent onslaught of verbal diarrhea
now. This journal will be long. Probably. Maybe it’ll make you laugh, maybe
you’ll enjoy yourself. At this point you should know what you’re in for. We’re
three journals deep now. You’ve had time to get out. There have been warnings.
You are warned.
So, sit back with me and wait for my family to get here so we can eat and go to the airport. At the moment I am more excited for the food. It’s been nineteen hours since my last meal. I could really do with, you know, proper nourishment.
So, sit back with me and wait for my family to get here so we can eat and go to the airport. At the moment I am more excited for the food. It’s been nineteen hours since my last meal. I could really do with, you know, proper nourishment.
I’ll keep you
posted.
-----
-----
23rd of
February, 5:41pm
On the plane now.
The family came to pick me up and everything went off without a hitch. It was
grey and rainy outside as we went to the airport; exactly what I wanted. If
it’s sunny and beautiful when you leave it makes you think “Aww, why am I
leaving?” and you get all sad, but if it’s miserable and cold you go “Yeah! Eat
it, Canada. Keep your temperatures and biting wind! I’m out of here!”.
We didn’t end up
eating out. Or…hm. Sort of. Dad brought a cold chicken which he picked at and
nobody else really touched. I ate some to satisfy my however-many-hours-long
built-up hunger. The main meal happened at the airport, though.
My bag weighted in at 4-something kilos. About 4.5 or 4.3? Everyone else mocked me for having ridiculously light baggage. I checked it, too. I checked a bag weighing under 5 kilos. Is there even a point? They’ll probably kick it to the side somewhere and lose it.
It was $40.20 to eat at the airport. Forty dollars! For what? Fish and chips? “Authentic English” fish and chips, I think it was. Yeah, right. I’ve had fish and chips in Britain. In England. In London. On Tower Hill. Don’t you tell me what’s authentic English.
My bag weighted in at 4-something kilos. About 4.5 or 4.3? Everyone else mocked me for having ridiculously light baggage. I checked it, too. I checked a bag weighing under 5 kilos. Is there even a point? They’ll probably kick it to the side somewhere and lose it.
It was $40.20 to eat at the airport. Forty dollars! For what? Fish and chips? “Authentic English” fish and chips, I think it was. Yeah, right. I’ve had fish and chips in Britain. In England. In London. On Tower Hill. Don’t you tell me what’s authentic English.
It was pretty good,
though.
Oh, and I lied. It
was $40.20 for fish and chips, a Heineken, and a plate of hot wings. Still.
Still! I’m outraged.
The plane ride so far is uneventful. Each of us took a self-shot in our seats. I want to put them together in a frame or something. They’re just so beautiful.
I want to do that thing again where I take a bit of what I’m drinking and smear it on a page of my journal. First up: plane tea. Oh no. I was just reminded of the Tea Pee Fiasco of 2012. Why do I keep ordering tea??
-----
The plane ride so far is uneventful. Each of us took a self-shot in our seats. I want to put them together in a frame or something. They’re just so beautiful.
I want to do that thing again where I take a bit of what I’m drinking and smear it on a page of my journal. First up: plane tea. Oh no. I was just reminded of the Tea Pee Fiasco of 2012. Why do I keep ordering tea??
-----
6:25pm
The sun is setting as we watch. The colours of the sky are so vibrant above the clouds that t looks like the earth is on fire below us. Going from the horizon up to the sky were getting a near-perfect rainbow of colours. My only regret is that my camera can’t capture it. I tried, internet. Oh, how I tried.
-----
The sun is setting as we watch. The colours of the sky are so vibrant above the clouds that t looks like the earth is on fire below us. Going from the horizon up to the sky were getting a near-perfect rainbow of colours. My only regret is that my camera can’t capture it. I tried, internet. Oh, how I tried.
-----
9:07pm
So our plane left
fifteen minutes early and we are landing an hour early. I don’t think I’ve ever
been on such a quick flight. By that I mean time of flight regularly vs. time
saved...ratio.
Oh, no, it was forty-five minutes. Not an hour. Still.
Oh, no, it was forty-five minutes. Not an hour. Still.
We were picked up
from the airport by an entire crew. Us and our four bottles of duty-free booze.
I think my parents only had me as a way to get more alcohol in and out of
countries.
We got back to my
aunt’s house and were greeted by shark for dinner. If that’s not slapping the
food chain in the face, I don’t know what is.
-----
-----
24th of
February
Why am I awake? Why.
Why. I am so tired. Why. No amount of breakfast shark can prepare me for this.
We were up until 1am this morning being welcomed home. It is now 8:53am. Why.
Why.
Why.
Oh, wait, we’re at
my aunt’s church. That’s why we’re up at this hour. I guess people like showing
off their Canadian cousiblinephieces.
Last night something I dreaded in Canada became a reality. Outside it was warm and humid, but when we got inside the car it was freezing. There was no happy middle. Before you ask yourself why I didn’t just turn the AC down, remember that I am a Canadian and refuse to inconvenience anyone.
It was the same situation in bed, I’m afraid: boiling outside, frigid cold AC inside. I shouldn’t need a woolen blanket in the tropics.
Last night something I dreaded in Canada became a reality. Outside it was warm and humid, but when we got inside the car it was freezing. There was no happy middle. Before you ask yourself why I didn’t just turn the AC down, remember that I am a Canadian and refuse to inconvenience anyone.
It was the same situation in bed, I’m afraid: boiling outside, frigid cold AC inside. I shouldn’t need a woolen blanket in the tropics.
-----
12:07pm
So someone stole a
knife off of our landing this morning. I need a line or something for when
Trinidad doesn’t fail to disappoint me. Something like “TT Life”. We heard two
police sirens and a car alarm while we were sitting in church. TT Life. Someone
broke onto our property and took a large knife. TT Life.
-----
7:32pm
In KFC. It’s
different here, I promise. I am not a black stereotype. I actually has a
conversation with Brent about this. In Trinidad each KFC restaurant seasons
their meat themselves. This means that every local has a KFC which they
consider the best. It’s weird that the KFCs actually care here. I’m pretty sure
in Canada they care about the quality of the food as much as is required by
law.
-----
-----
25th of
February, 12:50pm
In Trinidad if you
go for a drive you almost hit someone at least eight times. Any less and it
must be a slow day for traffic.
This morning someone brought the knife back. Efil TT? I’m not sure whether this is good manners or just creepy. Someone had such a desperate need for coconut that they hopped a wall to steal a machete, but they brought it back? So…we’re cool? I don’t understand this country.
This morning someone brought the knife back. Efil TT? I’m not sure whether this is good manners or just creepy. Someone had such a desperate need for coconut that they hopped a wall to steal a machete, but they brought it back? So…we’re cool? I don’t understand this country.
Watched the Oscars
last night. Every award that I had a guess for I got right. I might as well
have been handing out the awards myself.
I successfully
managed to get Cameron into Fire Emblem. I’m pretty happy. Normally he goes
“That looks dumb” and drops it, but now it’s too late. He’s in it too deep now.
…this does
mean that I can’t play it whenever I want. Hm…
We’re driving to a funeral now. If we’re lucky maybe we’ll only almost hit someone six times.
-----
We’re driving to a funeral now. If we’re lucky maybe we’ll only almost hit someone six times.
-----
1:29pm
This funeral is for
my great uncle Kendal Bharath. My brother pointed out that that Is the same
name as my other brother, Kendall Bharath. Kendall Bharath who is not with us.
Now, I don’t mean “passed on” or “went to a farm upstate somewhere” or “is
partying with the little baby Jesus”. I mean “not with us” as in he is in Japan
and we are not in Japan and he is.
I’ll take this
chance to tell you what it’s like to be in Trinidad, I suppose. Sluggish. You
feel sluggish. I think I’ve gotten better at handling the heat compared to when
I was last here, but I want to nap everywhere. Everywhere is warm and
almost exactly the temperature I keep my room at in Oakville. I almost fell
asleep in church, I almost fell asleep in that restaurant, and I’m ready to
fall over and have a quick doze at this funeral. It’s not my fault this entire
country is perfect for naps.
Naps and crime.
-----
Naps and crime.
-----
26th of
February
There was a spot marked “Do Not Park by Police Order” and my dad went ahead and parked there anyway. He might have gotten away with it if the police weren’t parked right there next to us. The officer just gave him this long-suffering look until my dad slowly got back in the car.
Unrelated: Happy birthday, Kendall! That’s all.
Every time we pass a roundabout I just think “Ah, I see the English taught you how to design your roads”. (Fun Post-Vacation Fact: Trinidad was under English rule until 1962)
We’re going on a three-hour drive to “the South”. Or, sorry, “down South”. Considering the whole island is south of where we’re staying we could be going anywhere.
-----
There was a spot marked “Do Not Park by Police Order” and my dad went ahead and parked there anyway. He might have gotten away with it if the police weren’t parked right there next to us. The officer just gave him this long-suffering look until my dad slowly got back in the car.
Unrelated: Happy birthday, Kendall! That’s all.
Every time we pass a roundabout I just think “Ah, I see the English taught you how to design your roads”. (Fun Post-Vacation Fact: Trinidad was under English rule until 1962)
We’re going on a three-hour drive to “the South”. Or, sorry, “down South”. Considering the whole island is south of where we’re staying we could be going anywhere.
-----
1:20pm
Being in Trinidad is
sort of like being in the rain. If you’re going from AC to AC you can’t wait to
get there, but if you are outside long enough to get all sweaty you stop
caring. You’ve already gotten wet.
I’m damp.
I forgot how many stray dogs there are in Trinidad. Lots. We were walking just now and saw two sleeping under a parked car. If they weren’t of questionable origin, wild, dirty, and possible diseased I’d take them home and love them.
I’m damp.
I forgot how many stray dogs there are in Trinidad. Lots. We were walking just now and saw two sleeping under a parked car. If they weren’t of questionable origin, wild, dirty, and possible diseased I’d take them home and love them.
Being on a family
vacation reminds me of being a child: “don’t sleep until 11am”, “don’t step
into traffic”, “make sure you pee before we go”, “eat something”, “bathe
yourself”, “nyeh nyeh nyeh nyehblah blah”. Sleeping until 11am makes me happy.
It’s an ideal vacation if I get to laze about as I choose.
It’s not like
there’s much to see, either. The attractions here are pretty much trees, slum
houses, or heat. Yes, heat is an attraction. I guess you could do a ‘Count the
Homeless’ walking tour. Ten points if you get looked at cock-eyed. Twenty
points if they have fewer than five teeth. A hundred points for a mugging,
stabbing, or biting.
Why do they have
white Jesus here? I was so looking forward to black Jesuses aplenty. That must
be another English-imposed thing. Build roundabouts, name your streets after
English things, worship white Jesus.
When dressing for
the day you are faced with a dilemma: do you wear full pants and look like you
belong here or do you stop caring about what other people think and wear the
shortest pants you can get away with? Choose wisely.
I miss vegetables.
There is so much greasy food here. My only hope for maintaining good health is
all of that grease lubing up my insides to allow for quick food passage. At
least that way I don’t absorb so much of this extra fat. Please tell me that’s
how food and science works.
-----
4:22pm
We were in San
Fernando today. Hot and sticky as always. We walked to a toy store and on the
way passed by a large truck transporting prisoners. Now, I say ‘transporting’,
but really they were just parked in the road. Some sort of catcalling service,
maybe.
I managed to get a
“hey”, “sex-aaayyy”, and…however you write kissing noises. My mother, on the
other hand, got a “good afternoon, ma’am. Enjoy your day”. Politest potential
rapist I’ve ever heard! It was good, though. Getting whistled or hollered at is
really flattering, but when you get it from randoms on the street they can
harass you or follow you home or whatever. Here they’re safely locked behind
two sheets of metal fence in a metal van. Walk by, get your sleazy compliments,
move on unmolested. In every sense.
-----
So we went nextdoor
from my aunt to see a friend of my father’s and there was a puppy! It was the
neighbour’s that squeezed through a hole in the fence, but I didn’t care. I got
to hold a puppy! A Rottweiler puppy! It was named Turtle! Silly dog, you are
not a turtle! You are a dog!
…she may have had fleas.
…I put her down after I noticed the fleas.
…she may have had fleas.
…I put her down after I noticed the fleas.
-----
That was not even
the best animal-related thing to happen to me today. We went to go and see my
ninety-eight year old great uncle at his house, visiting his daughter (who
lives with him) at the same time. We got to talking and she mentioned that she
has this pet that she keeps outside.
A pet monkey.
A pet monkey named Monkey Boy.
We were just about to leave when the monkey came by. It was amazing. She also has, like, five dogs who all want to eat him.
She told us, completely serious, that the monkey rides on the neighbour’s dog! As if a monkey will ride other animals if left alone long enough! I didn’t get to see that, but still! Can you imagine?
A pet monkey named Monkey Boy.
We were just about to leave when the monkey came by. It was amazing. She also has, like, five dogs who all want to eat him.
She told us, completely serious, that the monkey rides on the neighbour’s dog! As if a monkey will ride other animals if left alone long enough! I didn’t get to see that, but still! Can you imagine?
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27th of
February, 11:50am
I am so itchy. Mosquitoes have bitten me seven times in three days. I am like sugar to them.
I am so itchy. Mosquitoes have bitten me seven times in three days. I am like sugar to them.
Seriously, though.
I’m starting to lose count of how many bites I have. I’m tempted to fill a bath
with aloe vera and citronella and just go nuts. There must be something I’m
doing wrong. Cameron has a few, my mom has one or two maybe. My Dad has
skin so thick that either mosquitoes can’t bite him or he doesn’t feel it when
they do.
I’m trying to figure
out how to look more Trinidadian. You know, I don’t think it’s the pants. I’m
wearing a halter top today and my cousin tells me that’s touristy. Now I don’t
know what to think. Here I thought I was doing well avoiding pastel-coloured shirts
and fanny packs. There is no winning.
This morning we went
for a walk for maybe an hour or so. When we got back I was already a shade
darker. I can’t imagine how tan I’ll be when we go out to Mayaro and I’m on the
beach every day. Morgan Freeman or darker, I’d say. I figure at the moment I’m
about a Will Smith.
-----
Fifteen minutes in a
bathroom and people think you’re dying or something
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28th of
February, 8:08pm
Today we did a lot
of driving. Well, Dad did. We went back down south to the Debe Market. They had
corn! This sudden change in temperature is really messing with my mind. I’m
wearing shorts every day, so I think its June. Corn season is in August. In
reality it is February. It’s too much.
Sorry I don’t have
more to write. There’s nothing too exciting about driving, shopping, and family
visits.
You know minimum
wage here is fourteen dollars TT? That’s a little over two dollars Canadian per
hour. No wonder everything’s cheaper here. Any more and they couldn’t afford
it. Here’s an example: a box of Red Rose tea was twenty-one TT for a hundred
bags. That’s only three dollars and thirty-three cents Canadian. Half price.
What a savings.
In case you’re
curious I’m up to twelve bites. That I know of. I’m sticky and hot and itchy
and sticky.
Don’t envy me.
-----
1st of
March
Dear Journal,
Today I ate a bug.
We went for a walk in the morning and a bug flew into my mouth. Now, I didn’t
feel it fly into my mouth, I just felt something there. I’d just eaten, so I
assumed it was food that had been caught in my teeth.
I chewed.
It made a crunching noise.
I quickly spit to see what it was. I’m no entomologist, but whatever I spat out consisted of several black, leg-like pieces. I then proceeded to spit a lot more in some vain attempt to undo what had been done.
And that was the most interesting thing to happen to me today.
I chewed.
It made a crunching noise.
I quickly spit to see what it was. I’m no entomologist, but whatever I spat out consisted of several black, leg-like pieces. I then proceeded to spit a lot more in some vain attempt to undo what had been done.
And that was the most interesting thing to happen to me today.
-----
I lied. I went for
dinner at my second cousin’s house.
-----
Fifteen minutes in
the bathroom and people act like you have a problem or something.
-----
So Trinidadians have
a sort of cycle they go through. Allow me to explain.
1) Eat this food.
You are too thin. Or too average, even. You simply must come and eat. That’s not enough. I cooked chicken, lamb, goat, beef, duck, more beef, different chicken, and fish. Did you try them all? Every single one? Twice? You must try the vegetables. And more meat. Are you ready to vomit yet? No? There’s still time for fifths!
1) Eat this food.
You are too thin. Or too average, even. You simply must come and eat. That’s not enough. I cooked chicken, lamb, goat, beef, duck, more beef, different chicken, and fish. Did you try them all? Every single one? Twice? You must try the vegetables. And more meat. Are you ready to vomit yet? No? There’s still time for fifths!
2) Are you ever fat.
Well, you are. Must
have put on at least ten pounds since I saw you last. Look at your belly. Gosh.
3) So, you’re on a
diet?
You exercise and
everything? That’s great! Good for you. Cut back on sugar? Fantastic! No more
chocolate or desserts? Extraordinary!
4) You’re so thin!
Look at this
boy/girl! Wasting away! You don’t eat nothin’.
5) Eat this food.
This is very much what I went through at dinner. I took what I felt to be a very reasonably-sized dinner. A bit much, but other people were still saying “That’s all you’re taking?”, “This girl doesn’t eat, you know”. I ate! I ate a reasonable amount! I could only turn down so many extra helpings and drinks before they just started giving me food without asking first. I didn’t want a lime breezer, but I got one. I didn’t want ice cream, but I got ice cream.
5) Eat this food.
This is very much what I went through at dinner. I took what I felt to be a very reasonably-sized dinner. A bit much, but other people were still saying “That’s all you’re taking?”, “This girl doesn’t eat, you know”. I ate! I ate a reasonable amount! I could only turn down so many extra helpings and drinks before they just started giving me food without asking first. I didn’t want a lime breezer, but I got one. I didn’t want ice cream, but I got ice cream.
I turned down offer
after offer, then went to the bathroom. About ten minutes into it I realized
that they might think I’m bulimic. I’m not, I just don’t want seconds.
My third cousin told us the story of the time that she, while walking to her car from her work, had a mental patient run up to her, slap her clean across the face, then laugh, What an exciting life she leads.
My third cousin told us the story of the time that she, while walking to her car from her work, had a mental patient run up to her, slap her clean across the face, then laugh, What an exciting life she leads.
-----
2nd of
March, 11:30am
Oildown for
breakfast. Lunch. Brunch. I suspect it’s very bad for me. It is called oildown.
It’s a sort of stew made with breadfruit and pigtail. Do I ever love me some
pigtail. Mmmmm mmm.
Today we go to Mayaro Beach and I finally get to relax with my Canadian relatives. Now I won’t need to struggle to remember names or try to understand any especially slurred-sounding accents.
Today we go to Mayaro Beach and I finally get to relax with my Canadian relatives. Now I won’t need to struggle to remember names or try to understand any especially slurred-sounding accents.
Mostly I’ll enjoy
being on a beach. Get a tan, maybe? And I’ll finally escape all this talk of
people I don’t know who go to live in England. I feel like everyone but
me gets to go faff off to London whenever they please.
Lucky bastards.
Lucky bastards.
-----
7:16pm
We’re at the beach
house. It’s always windy here. Sea wind. Is that a thing? I think so. Warm and
wet.
The ocean smells like farts.
The ocean smells like farts.
You don’t hear that
in your poetic journal nonsense. It does, though! It smells like wet sand and
salty water farts. You can see jellyfish as you walk along the beach. They are
awful and I hate them. It makes me wary of swimming. Last last time I was here
I got stung by one on the leg. I was so shocked that my swimsuit leapt from my
body. Well, just from the boob area. Unfortunately. I’m fairly sure nobody saw.
Not that it would be particularly sexy: a thirteen year old girl jelly-stung,
crying, screaming and with one boob to the wind. To each their own, I guess.
This time I’m
sticking to walking knee-deep in the sand. Knee-deep in water, I mean. Getting
knee-deep in sand would be quite a feat. Or quite a feet. Ah HA ha haaa.
There is no toilet
paper, no sheets, no pillowcases, no nothing at this beach house. We went into
town to remedy the situation. My grandma requested lemon cake for her birthday,
so we stopped by the grocery to get some lemons. We walked up and down looking,
but couldn’t find any.
Or so we thought.
Or so we thought.
We eventually asked
some indifferent employee where the lemons were and got pointed to this bin.
This bin full to the brim with these brown/green/yellow/beige, dusty, soft,
mouldy, squishy, lumpy, diseased-looking “lemons”*.
*If you can call them lemons.
*If you can call them lemons.
We left without
lemons.
Now I’m in a house
with sixteen Trinidadians. You do not know what loud means until you have
shared a house with sixteen Trinidadians.
-----
3rd of
March, 11:21am
It’s eighty-one
murders so far this year in Trinidad and Tobago. Keep in mind that we are
March. Early March. I’m pretty sure it was at around sixty-nine when I got
here. That’s twelve murders in just over a week, if I have my numbers right. I
guess this sort of informs my next journal topic.
I dreamt of brutal murder last night. More specifically: how you could break into this beach house and assault everyone therein. Herein. Both.
I dreamt of brutal murder last night. More specifically: how you could break into this beach house and assault everyone therein. Herein. Both.
What makes it
worse—or, two things that make it worse—is that I’m both new to this house and
it was one of those dreams where you’re not sure whether it really happened
or not. So here I was in the middle of the night listening to the wind rattling
the roof. A rattling roof sound surprisingly like a team of burly rapists
breaking in, by the way. Rattling isn’t even the right word. It was more of an
unholy bashknockslamming cacophony. It was like the Haunting: Caribbean
edition.
Well, we’re going for a walk along the beach. I’ll be back.
Well, we’re going for a walk along the beach. I’ll be back.
-----
12:45pm
I’m back now. Is the
beach ever fun. Brent made a game of finding chip chip. I think that’s what
they’re called, anyway. It’s these molluscs or shellfish or somethings. They
just look like two shell halves stuck together. It’s the strangest thing; you
see this shell lying on the beach and it just sinks. They say that they
dig, but they…don’t. Can something with no arms or legs really dig? I don’t
think I could. I’m less resourceful than a shellfish.
Speaking of
shellfish, we had a new friend this morning. A crab set up…hole. But he’s gone
now. Who makes a home for one morning? He dug it, stepped into it, made a point
to hide when I said “there’s a crab”, then he left.
We watched the sun rise this morning. As luck would have it my nightmares woke me up just in time for the sunrise. We’re on the east coast, so we get the full show. It’s almost worth waking up at 6:00am. Almost.
We watched the sun rise this morning. As luck would have it my nightmares woke me up just in time for the sunrise. We’re on the east coast, so we get the full show. It’s almost worth waking up at 6:00am. Almost.
I caught up with a
two-hour nap. Don’t worry about me.
-----
Cooked the chip
chip. It was sort of good, but mostly not. Nobody told me that these
sand-creatures would be so sandy! It came out of nowhere.
And I only caught enough to fill maybe two tablespoons. When I say sandy I don’t mean one grain per chip chip. I’m talking more like ten+ per creature. I offered everyone a taste then promptly threw them away.
And I only caught enough to fill maybe two tablespoons. When I say sandy I don’t mean one grain per chip chip. I’m talking more like ten+ per creature. I offered everyone a taste then promptly threw them away.
We watched a few
minutes of Django Unchained, then went to bed.
-----
4th of
March, 6:20pm
Woke up just after
sunrise. Frustratingly so. It was up far enough that I know I missed sunrise by
a few minutes at the most. If I’m going to get up for ten minutes before I
crash again I want to see the sun do magical things.
After a brief
three-hour nap I got up again. My dad and uncle went out to the beach to pull
seine. Pulling seine is fishing. Well—okay, no. It’s hucking a net into the
ocean, then pulling said net back in to the shore from the beach. The catch
varies from net to net, day to day.
It’s surprisingly
like a video game.
You know in games
you help a distraught villager and they give you a reward? When you see these
people pulling in the net on the beach you can help them regardless of whether
you’re a fisherman or not. Then, once the fish are brought onto shore and the
fishermen have had their pick, you get your fish. You obviously don’t get first
pick of the big fish, but you do get fish. Not bad for strolling by and lending
a hand.
I’m pretty sure they
gave my mom more than her share because she’s got boobs. Seriously. They gave
my dad and uncle three fish between them. She alone got two big ones. One per
boob.
We went for a swim
on the beach at some point. Dried off. Got wet. Dried off. Got wet. That’s life
by a beach, pretty much. Get sandy, wash off, try not to get sandy, get sandy.
My aunt roped me
into walking into town. It’s 1.6 km both ways. That’s not bad, but try doing it
with heavy grocery bags under the hot Caribbean sun. It burns. Literally! My
aunt, brother, and mom all have sunburns already. I do not plan on joining
them. I will get to that Morgan Freeman tan. Just you watch.
Anyway, town. Town
consists of a grocery, pharmacy, a general store, and a bank. Depending on the
time of day you can get vegetable market stands and homemade ice cream. I paid
twenty TT for a tub of peanut flavour ice cream. (post-vacation note: It was
amazing)
That is what made
the 3.2km walk bearable: plunging my face in some sweet nuts.
You heard me.
Since then I’ve been relaxing. We went for a leisurely stroll on the beach and met a dog. He was black and playfully mouthing at our hands, so I named him Nipsy Russell. He wasn’t really biting, though, don’t worry. He was playing and probably trying to get us to feed him. I choose to interpret it at love.
Since then I’ve been relaxing. We went for a leisurely stroll on the beach and met a dog. He was black and playfully mouthing at our hands, so I named him Nipsy Russell. He wasn’t really biting, though, don’t worry. He was playing and probably trying to get us to feed him. I choose to interpret it at love.
Stray dogs!
Everywhere. Here’s how you can tell the gender of a stray dog: they are either
freshly pregnant or boys.
Now it’s time to
find a good place to read the rest of this book (Lord of the Rings). They keep
insisting on playing loud music in the living room. Constantly.
Wish me luck, reader.
Wish me luck, reader.
----
9:53pm
I forgot to describe
the beach. It’s not as smooth as people might think. The smoothest part is by
the sea that gets hit by the tide. Even there there are areas that are riddled
with broken shells. Broken shells, chip chip, stranded jellyfish, sea
cockroaches or sea cockroach holes, bits of coral, and whatever palms and
plants that have fallen apart and drifted along.
What are sea
cockroaches, you ask? They are bugs that hide in the sand. I have touched three
by accident and I don’t want to talk about it anymore.
The point is that
there are also crabholes. Some of these crabholes are dark, which is fine. Some
of these are empty except for flies. Flies that erupt forth from these holes
when you draw near. I believe that these are portals to hell. Don’t quote
science or sense at me. Let me have my fun.
-----
5th of
March
Happy birthday,
Grandma!
Today I went to the
market with my aunt and uncle, mom, and dad. It was about as eventful as
walking to the grocery can be.
My dad and uncle are
funny. I think they spent all day swimming against waves or knocking down
mangoes/coconuts with a stick. Seriously, with a stick. They found a big stick
and said to each other “let’s poke high-up stuff”. I’m only paraphrasing a
little.
I helped make a
birthday dessert with my mom. Well, I stirred the cake and wrote Happy Birthday
80th” on it in icing. Not even icing, actually. Well, not completely. We had no food
colouring, you see, so to make the icing for writing a different colour we
mixed the regular icing with a beer cocktail. It worked, so who are you to
judge?
Tried to take a
picture of myself on the beach. It must have taken at least sixty shots to get
one I like. I feel like truly hideous people have an easier time than I do. At
least they can go “click, that’s as good as that’ll be” and leave it. Meanwhile
here I am on a beach going “Get it together, Jamila. Less like a serial killer
this time. Less squinting. Less than that. More teeth. Less teeth. You’re
taking a photo, not telling someone what you did to the last census-taker who
tried to test you. Aaaaaaannnnnd I guess this one would be okay if
everything was a little bit better. It will have to do“.
We sort of have a
cat. This newborn kitten wandered onto our property today looking little and
pathetic and wall-eyed like cats do. I named him Pussy Boy. My dad made the
mistake of giving him fish and now he won’t leave. We left him by the gate and
he came home. We left him there again and he came home. We left him on the
beach and he came home. I guess he stays.
Not long after he
came back another one popped up. From where? No idea. Both
kittens. Must be related. We named the new one Lisa. Well, my four year old
cousin did. Pussy Boy stays Pussy Boy.
Now they have a milk
dish and an upside-down box house. Like family.
I’m allergic to
cats.
I don’t even really like cats.
I don’t even really like cats.
-----
6th of
March, 2:00pm
The cat is dead. Well, one is. Lisa died at some point in the night while cuddling with her brother. Pussy Boy is fine. He’s stumbling around a meowing and sleeping and all of those things that kittens do. I think he will be wall-eyed from now until we leave.
The cat is dead. Well, one is. Lisa died at some point in the night while cuddling with her brother. Pussy Boy is fine. He’s stumbling around a meowing and sleeping and all of those things that kittens do. I think he will be wall-eyed from now until we leave.
We walked very far
today. I said I wanted to make it to the end of the beach and we did. The sand
had too much give, the waves were too rough, there were jellyfish everywhere,
and the beach was covered with sharp shell pieces.
I don’t know what
people who have never been to the beach think the beach is like, but shells are
not all big and colourful and beautiful. There are a lot of white, small,
broken shell pieces that are mostly a nuisance. You’ll get a nice shell once in
a while, but for the most part they’re white and stabby.
-----
Pussy Boy meows when
he wants stuff. We’ve been feeding him milk and fish. We’re not exactly stocked
up on cat food.
-----
7:53pm
Sometimes a child
will hug you with no ulterior motive and it makes you think they aren’t so bad.
Then they poop everywhere and cry for no reason and the nice things don’t
matter.
-----
7th of
March
Then they get you
sick even though you made a point not to touch them to interact with them in
any way. I’m mad.
-----
6:45pm
Not as mad. The
cold’s gotten better with time. Time and tea.
I’m almost done Lord
of the Rings. Almost. I’m only a few decades late to the party. What an
epilogue this is. They make sure we know what happened to Sam’s horse.
Does it really matter? He lived? Who cares. He died? Who cares! I don’t need to
waste reading time learning the fate of a horse.
-----
No date, no time.
Sup guys? It’s
Cameron, Jamila’s brother. I had a blast in this country. I finished "To
Kill a Mockingbird”, I drank a lot on Sunday, and I ate a bunch of delicious
food. Missions accomplished.
I watched the news
and it said that Chavez was dead. I know, I know, don’t disrespect the dead.
Too bad. Pol Pot was an asshole! See, no one cares. Hypocrites.
Jamila was pretty
cool this trip. She’s frowning right now, but I love her and she’s really
talented. Now she’s smiling.
Auntie Fern made
oildown, calalalou (too many “la”s), and pelau. Delicious. Andre made saltfish.
Delicious. I wish Zoe (Jamila post-vacation note: our cousin who is almost two
and is very, very, very, white) would talk. She’s taken so much crap from us
for being white, she deserves a chance to fire back.
Me and Dad didn’t
talk too much, but we’re still cool. I’m not homeless yet, so I guess that’s a
good sign. Fern said she and Dad talk a lot, which explains a lot. She’s very
devout, which must inform his views. Also, if he loves her a bunch, it frees
him up to talk. I wish me and Jamila were closer.
Megan’s great. She’s
a brat, but I love her anyway. If I find someone, I bet I’ll be putting her
(the love of my life) down while making her breakfast in bed.
Diaries are cool. They let you reflect. Not enough people do that. Sometimes it feels like Twitter was created so that people can jot down 120 characters while simultaneously forgetting the previous 120. #FuckTwitter
Diaries are cool. They let you reflect. Not enough people do that. Sometimes it feels like Twitter was created so that people can jot down 120 characters while simultaneously forgetting the previous 120. #FuckTwitter
Um, I guess I have
to wrap this up. Trinidad was great. Things can only get worse from here. Also
it’s snowing in Canada, which I’m kind of looking forward to. I hope Tobi’s not
dead. He’s great.
I miss working out. I hope I don’t let up. It provides a release, and I want to consistently max out the machines. I can already bench more than Dad. I want to do the rest better, too.
C.
I miss working out. I hope I don’t let up. It provides a release, and I want to consistently max out the machines. I can already bench more than Dad. I want to do the rest better, too.
C.
-----
8th of
March, 9:36am
At a certain point
in the night you give up swatting at the mosquito and just go limp. My mantra
was “Take what you want, just leave me alone”. It stops being worth it when
swatting makes that same mosquito bite you two more times.
I would say that
that was the worst night’s sleep I had, but it wasn’t. If you recall I recently
spent a night thinking I would be murdered by intruders. I think fearing for my
life tops this itchy, drooly, sore-throaty, can’t-swallowy,
mosquito-in-my-eary, broken ACy, surrendery, sweaty fiasco.
Just slightly.
Just slightly.
-----
1:10pm
You know, I don’t
think that mosquito bit me. These bites feel bruised. I’m starting to think he
beat me first. Taught me a lesson, took out his tiny mosquito knife, and
stabbed me. In true Trinidadian fashion.
That landlord is definitely
going to kill Pussy Boy. He said he’d “take care of” her. That’s a universal
“I’m going to kill it” phrase, no? Oh, and yeah, Pussy Boy’s a girl. Lisa was a
boy. We’re terrible at naming.
-----
8:10pm
Watching terrible
Indian soap operas. There is so much secret-revealing and crying. I don’t think
I’ll watch any more Indian soaps.
We mostly just came
back from Mayaro today. It’s a two and a half hour drive. We visited a few of
Dad’s relatives, too, as well as some souvenir shopping. It was a good time. I
finally got gifts for everyone. Well, everyone I can be bothered to buy for.
Now we’re having a
going-away party. I’m mostly tired. Sick, tired, and eager for a time when
there isn’t sand under my nails constantly.
-----
10:32pm
We met a boy who
used to like me. Probably the only boy who has ever had any feelings for me. He
is now very flamboyantly gay. This is no coincidence.
I have six new
mosquito bites since last night. Rather, ones that I got last night.
From the same mosquito. There may even be seven. I’ve lost count,
really. If it sounds like I complain about my bites a lot it’s because EVERY
SECOND IS ITCHY AGONY. I don’t scratch, yet the bites get worse. Someone do
something.
The amount of grease
I just ate is going to come back to me in a bad, bad way.
-----
9th of
March, the Final Day, 8:21am
Someone stole my
bra! I have no idea how or why, but one of my favourite bras is unaccounted
for. I don’t know where it was before we left the beach house, but the rooms
were all clean, so I didn’t worry. Turns out it’s gone. Here’s the strange
part: none of the sixteen people who stayed in that house were even my size! I
bet it was that knife borrower. Knives and bras: his only weaknesses.
We are leaving
today. I really love planes and am getting a bit fed up of being sticky, so I’m
all right with this.
Yesterday!
Yesterday. Yesterday Phyllis gave me a pizza that tasted like a hot dog! It was
perfection. I don’t really like pizza, so it was the best of both worlds. Or
one world. I would have liked just a hot dog.
This is a pretty
short journal, you know. Way shorter than my last two. Maybe this can serve as
an introduction to my work. I’ll lure people into a false sense of journal
shortness then trap them with one of my eighteen thousand-word monstrosities.
And hope they forget this part.
-----
-----
12:45pm
In the food court at
the airport. The choices are fried chicken, fried chicken, and fried chicken.
There’s a Subway a bit of a walk away. Subway is the only non-fried chicken
food they will tolerate here. I’ve seen maybe three McDonald’s total. Even they
struggle to prove that they, too, have chicken.
I already regret the fried chicken I just ate. I’m greasy enough without piling on more. Or maybe I’ve hit the point where I’m so saturated with grease that any more will just…
Think of a way to poetically say “explosive diarrhea”, then report back to me. Why do my journals always come back to poop? What kind of trash is this?
I already regret the fried chicken I just ate. I’m greasy enough without piling on more. Or maybe I’ve hit the point where I’m so saturated with grease that any more will just…
Think of a way to poetically say “explosive diarrhea”, then report back to me. Why do my journals always come back to poop? What kind of trash is this?
-----
2:25pm
On the plane now.
It’s much fuller this time and I doubt I’ll be able to play musical airplane
seats. However, nobody has come crying to me with some sob story about how
their mother needs my window seat to cure her cancer. “My” window. I stole it
from my mother. That’s a mom’s job.
-----
7:55pm
The end of this
vacation has really snuck up on me. One minute I’m watching Being Human with my
mom at 30,000 feet and the next it’s time to land.
Do I ever love planes. I love the sun. Being in a plan is just like Sun+. Go closer, feel warmer. It’s enough to make me forget my itching and cold.
I’m looking forward to hanging out with my friends. It’s surprisingly comforting to be with people who choose to be with you purely through your own awesomeness. I’ve earned good times through being an extraordinary, fun, happy, attractive, and outstandingly humble human being.
Do I ever love planes. I love the sun. Being in a plan is just like Sun+. Go closer, feel warmer. It’s enough to make me forget my itching and cold.
I’m looking forward to hanging out with my friends. It’s surprisingly comforting to be with people who choose to be with you purely through your own awesomeness. I’ve earned good times through being an extraordinary, fun, happy, attractive, and outstandingly humble human being.
No! Rrroll Up the
Rim to Win! I’m missing it! Nonononono! The biggest price a Canadian can pay!
It burns my heart.
Right! Wrapping up! I guess I’ll leave you with an impression of Trinidad: hot, sticky, mosquitoes, stabbings, and poverty.
But some nice trees.
Now I’m remembering everything I forgot to write. Comic Sans. They use Comic Sans everywhere. Their advertisers have the worst taste. But there was an ad for White Oak rum that had the slogan “When it pours, you reign”. I’ll be darned if that isn’t the cleverest slogan I’ve heard in a long time.
So I guess what I’m trying to say is…
Right! Wrapping up! I guess I’ll leave you with an impression of Trinidad: hot, sticky, mosquitoes, stabbings, and poverty.
But some nice trees.
Now I’m remembering everything I forgot to write. Comic Sans. They use Comic Sans everywhere. Their advertisers have the worst taste. But there was an ad for White Oak rum that had the slogan “When it pours, you reign”. I’ll be darned if that isn’t the cleverest slogan I’ve heard in a long time.
So I guess what I’m trying to say is…
BUY RUM.
Sincerely,
Jamilams
Sincerely,
Jamilams
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